No Longer applicable

So I have been debating a mission for the past few months and I have decided. I will not be going. Weirdly I am happy because my mind is at rest. Sunday I was in missionary prep and one of the teachers was talking about women missionaries and how for men they have to go and women don't. I knew that already but when he said it I just had this thought of not going on a mission and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I know I want to be a missionary but I don't have to serve a mission to be one. I think that I am going to keep going to mission prep and use all that is said to become a missionary now and share with friends and family the blessing of the gospel. (deep breathe) I've made the decision... and it feels good.